People like these…

Sometimes I wonder, why do the people in our lives, are in our lives… what do they bring that is good and what do they bring that is bad…

Some people are neutral, they just pass by, some are positive, others negative. What can you do? Sometimes it’s your fault, sometimes its someone else’s fault and sometimes  is no one else’s fault.

Some people work their schedule around you, and you work your schedule around them… Some people will never take you in consideration, and will just make you fit in whatever room is left in their agendas… Other people will think they go above and beyond while you are the one making it happen…

They know what gets to you, what buttons they will push and everything will go wrong and they still do it… because its in their nature, because its their maturity level, and how much they respect you it’s what they will show…

Sometimes I wonder if people know how much you can handle… how much will you take before you cut them off, and I wonder how much they will take before they cut me off their lives… It goes both ways…

I think to myself that I always take in consideration the feelings that are involved, even when I’m not in the situation… and do people take yours or mine in consideration? If they know how little it takes to make a bad day better, or better day even greater? Would they do it?

It does matter how close the person is to you, yes it does… People don’t do somethings because they are not as close to each other… and they’ll do many things to people that are close to them..

People, not all of them, but some… are off… Guys can’t read girls minds and girls will never say exactly the words they want to hear back. But again if people are that close, shouldn’t they already know” What to say? What to expect to hear?

Friendships, Relationships, Partnerships… things that involve people, and involve feelings and sometimes do not.

It is about taking time, it is about not taking time… It is about communicating or not… It is being able to go to bed with a heavy conscious or going to bed with a happy spirit.

It is about trying, to either be positive, or not being at all… And it is ok to try and sometimes to not be able to, be positive, be good, be heroic, be happy… but if you tried, you are already, somehow, somewhat; much better than you were before you tried.

 

 

 

Brazil, I share

The media most often show the sides of Brazil that make people scared or frustrated with the situation of the country. Some people can only believe we don’t have tv’s and have monkeys in very badly developed towns. Not true! Yes we do have crime, but first time I checked so did other countries (some more and some less than others) we do have a huge variety of animals! But no, in my town at least there is no trace of monkeys what so ever. We also do have rain forest, and the Amazon forest, so we do have the jungle, but its not like we live in it either. And yes it is beautiful! We also have the slums and crime, and we do have states that are losing their crops to the lack of rain while other states rivers are overfloating and due to that people are having to leave their homes because the water is just not under control. Sometimes, though, it is nice to forget all the bad things people show, and focus on what I see and it’s real right at that moment. And this is the Brazil I want to share:

Here I am Sharing a few pictures that me and my wonderful boyfriend took during this trip. We went to the southeast litoral of Brazil.  It was an amazing time. Here are some of the prettiest pictures we got!

Summer loving – Brazil

It is so nice to have a vacation with the ones you love. For the first time I had both Austin and my family at the same place for Christmas and New years.
I will post some pictures that turned out to be pretty amazing of this trip, under the title “Brazil, I share” title…
Back to the holidays and break. Getting in Brazil and being around my family was amazing, this time me and Austin were about us and closeness and family and nothing could have ended and start the years of 2011 and 2012 in a better way than that.
Christmas was celebrated at my parents house and new years at the beach, it was raining and at midnight the rain stopped, almost like it knew the city had planned fireworks. We are not believers of the midnight on new years actions that will bring you money, love or peace but for the night we decided to have fun and jump the seven waves for good luck!
We saw beautiful beaches, islands, people and Austin got to know the culture that I am proud to say I’ve been part of.
I do consider the USA home to me, but that’s because Austin is there and he is home to me.
I knew Austin only could take two weeks off work so he would eventually go back to the USA, and I would stay back trying to figure out which school I should go next and what would work the best for our relationship…
He left today, from the beach we were at to the airport was a three hour drive that I tried to hold back the tears that just kept on running down my face. I would be in control for a few minutes and it would only take one second for me to lose focus and cry again.
I told him I was already missing him and he said he had not even left yet, but what could I do everyday I grow this love for him for the next day and if I was missing him was anticipation…. The cause of my tears.
He said we have done this before as he has been deployed (I’m proud of him) but truth is I knew how lonely and how much I missed him and from that time I only love him more so why should it be any easier?! It won’t but it doesn’t mean we won’t do it.

you don’t know how strong you are, until being strong is your only option…

Time seems to be, already, going slowly as I’m counting time down till march that’s when I plan to see Austin again. But if it’s seems to be taking forever… I’ll make through forever and wait forever cause he is worth it all.

It sounds cliche, another long distance relationship… I want to say we are only geographically challenged, and we have been together for two years, lived together, laughed and cried and enjoyed together… We are doing this because we have chosen more than a fun date or a nice warm night, we have chosen love and a lifetime of feelings that are worth it all.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that I am so appreciative of my amazing family that treated him as their son as soon as they met and for Austin for sticking around when things are getting tougher…. And for making me so happy and being my better half.
I love you

Now everyone start the countdown with me… The date I want to be here is march 22nd!!!

Xoxoxo

Oh love, it gets to me :)

I found this when I was deleting my old blog, and I thought I’d share… I am in love with Austin, this is from June of 2010!

“”When I count my blessings, I count Austin twice.” Austin is the person I trust with closed eyes inside a house in flames. He is the ones that has the greatest power over me.
He is the one that changed me for better. And for all of that, he is the one I want to grow old with, have him giving opinions about my work stuff, or choosing what couch will look better in our living room. He is the one I wanna fight over who is waking up to feed the baby this time. Or, to walk the dog when its rainny out.
He is the one I want to see my dad trusting his oldest daughter to. And the one I wanna be calling telling our kid is gonna make the team, or whatever it is…
He is the one I wanna have lazy Sundays with, and awesome vacations with.
He is the one I will wait for every deployment that will come around and I will make it work.
But its not fair for me to ask for him to wait, four or five yers is a long time to be seeing each other four times a year. It would undenible make us appreciate each other more and focus in our studying and jobs. But still would be thousands of miles apart.
I wont ask that of him but inside of me I hold on to the idea he’ll try, cause those four times a year for five years, are gonna be worth having each other for the rest of our lives.”

 

 

Oh the Holidays (USA to Brazil!)

Holidays… USA to Brazil. (Preparation)

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. I am a very happy and lucky girl. He has loved me at my best and my worst and there’s nothing that makes me happier than having things neat and ready for him when he comes home (as he travel for work). I love just hanging out and laughing of the little things with him. I know he believes in me and in us as the strong and determined couple we are. Yes we are young, but I’m going to tell you all, I believed in the old fashion love, the one you find and fight for and keep for as long as you are breathing and maybe even longer. I am a romantic and a believer that fairy tales can be real happy ending stories. Of course everything has ups and downs but it’s ok, how boring life would be, if there was nothing to improve, nothing to fight for… Anyways Austin is my strength but now that I have to look for schools abroad and other places and I know he will stay he is my biggest weakness, I almost feel not motivated because he won’t be around, I mean physically close.

So, for the holidays Austin is coming to Brazil with me, and he will meet my family for the first time! I know it took a lot for him to take the step, after all it isn’t just a drive to another town, or a flight to another state, we are talking about a two day trip, for going and coming back… and he just got this new amazing job and it was scary asking for the time off, but he did… and he got the time off, and a raise because he is a great employee… So he is meeting my parents very soon, and going to Brazil with me.

It will be the first time me and Austin spend a Christmas together, out first Christmas we weren’t dating for not even a month so he went with his family I went with my host family (that were strict too)… and last Christmas he was deployed and I was in Brazil… So I am really happy we get to spend this one together… The sad part is that I won’t be coming back with him because I will be applying and trying to go to medical school in either Bolivia or Argentina. I have been packing, crying, crying and packing, I want to leave some of my clothes in the hangers in my closet so whenever I come back (probably on my first break) I feel like this is still home, even though I always say I don’t care where I go, as long as Austin is there… he is home to me. Even though my boyfriend doesn’t love our apartment, I also think we pay too much and get too little, I do however have feelings attached, it was our actual first place together, and he came back from deployment and came here after I move in all by myself. I have great memories here, and it would be sad if Austin moved out by himself (he is thinking about getting some place else….)

Maybe Brazil will change his mind, or when he gets back and sees our pictures and that my clothes are still here. My ultimate goal is to come back as soon and every chance I get!

I can’t wait for Brazil though, my family and my babe all in the same place for the holidays and we get to spend New Year’s on the beach! Sounds picture perfect already!

So back to packing and doing everything it needs to get done in the next 18 hours!

Quick summary of me (so far)

So I was born and raised in Brazil, in fairly small towns… my parents were married young and I have younger sister. I love my family…SO MUCH!! I always wanted to go abroad and get to know a different culture… But because it would be so costly, my parents had chosen to try the Rotary Exchange Program. It worked! Rotary was the one of the greatest opportunity I ever had. I came to the United States, not to a big place, I was a senior here, and I went back to Brazil graduated from High School there, and went to college.

In Brazil you don’t go to pre-med, or pre-law, or undergraduate program… You go straight (after passing a very competitive entrance test) to college, that being straight to med school or law school… or dentistry school and so on. So after high school I went to law school for one semester, and I wasn’t very happy… I thought maybe I could do it, but to tell the truth… It wasn’t for me, maybe because maybe my parents have done it, and they talked a lot about it, my sister today is a law school sophomore…

After one semester of law school I received a letter saying a got a full pre-med scholarship in an American community college… So I took the chance… I got here, and my scholarship was not good for how long I thought would be, so I had to work, and couldn’t take as many credits what put me behind… I had good grades, but I wasn’t getting things done as fast as I wanted. My tuition got higher in price and I seriously couldn’t work as much as I was working and keep going to school full time. So I decided I had to cut my pre-medicine… and just find an alternative for my situation. I was working full days at my boyfriend’s mom’s business and I got my CAN certification so I could work weekend and nights at an assisted living/nursing home. Monday evening I got off from a job and went to another one got off six at Tuesday morning and went to class. I just couldn’t take it anymore, my body was exhausted…

I thought about getting loans, personal and private loans, but I, truly, don’t want to have debt being young… If you are asking about my parents, my parents helped me a lot financially but I felt bad, their whole lived they did nothing but worked so they could give the best to me and my sis… they still work hard… and seriously when I found out they could pay my whole med school somewhere else with the money they sent me here in one year… I just couldn’t do that to them. Now if you are asking what about my boyfriend… he is the sweetest and most lovable person I know, and he has an awesome job and many times said I could stay home and study and he would pay for me… but he also has goals to achieve and he should work hard for that, he shouldn’t have to pay for me when he still needs to do things for himself. We support each other, and love each other very much and we are going to make through the long distance if we have to. He was deployed last year and was away for six months, and I miss him dearly, but I learned how to appreciate the little, silliest moments, so much more, and I am so grateful he made back home safe.

So, now back to the school and work topic… I want to be a doctor. Going to med school and working just won’t work, as I need to focus… so If I go to somewhere where the medical school is accredited and a school that maybe has some affiliation with an American school or an international program, maybe that would be the best way to go for me.

So now I am on a journey… trying to find the perfect medical school, as I try not to think about leaving my boyfriend, and thinking about seeing my family this holidays and trying to find the closest school and the one with the biggest chance that I could have of coming back and being a great doctor in the USA.

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